PJ's and Fire Trucks

Its Colin's birthday on July 10th.  This year was his 45th birthday.  It was also a Monday.  I golf on Monday evenings in a lady's league.  It's a lot of fun and I don't miss my opportunities to golf.

In order to celebrate Colin's birthday, we invited him to join us at our Condo's Stampede BBQ the day before.  Most of the residents in our condo are seniors and most are well over 70 years of age. They made a little bit of a fuss over him and he loved it.

On Monday, the day of his birthday; I received several phone calls from him.  Its not unusual.  But at 2:30 pm; he called and he and his dad worked out the details regarding the fact that they were going to meet for supper without me to celebrate Colin's birthday.

When they finished, Dennis, Colin's Dad, handed the phone back to me and I am: ok Colin NOW what???  Its only the 7th or 8th call today so I am half listening.  But what he said caught my attention.  

Colin:

"Mom, there is smoke coming from the upstairs and the fire alarms are going off".

Me:  (and I am screaming)
"What, where are you?"

Colin:
"In my basement suite."

Me:  (I am still screaming)
"Get outside, get out, go into the back yard, right now, hurry up!!!"

Colin:
"But Mom, I am still in my pyjamas!!!"  (PLEASE stop laughing)

Me:
"Colin, it does NOT matter, get outside now!!!"

Colin:
"OK"

In the meantime, I am dialling 911 on my land line as well as texting his supportive roommate.  911 agrees to send a firetruck and the roommate is on her way home.  The firemen arrive before the roommate does and they do what they do best  -  break down the front door as there is obvious smoke billowing from the house and they deal with the source of the smoke.   

I kept Colin on the phone with me the entire time so that I could ensure that he was safe at all times.   I instructed him to get to the driveway; which he did; so that the firemen could know that he was there and that he was ok.  In fact when the firemen got there we tried to give them the code to the garage door so that they would not have to break the door down, but they did not have time for that.

The smoke damage to the upstairs is extensive.  Major smoke damage actually.  Thankfully Colin called me and we were able to prevent any further damage.  Thankfully, Colin's suite did receive only minor smoke damage, but not much.

We are so grateful that Colin is OK.  Grateful that Colin LISTENS to me sometimes!!!  

We are grateful to the Calgary Fire Department.  They were quick and efficient.

Colin's roommates Ken and Linda are devastated.  Their entire house has to be cleaned, dry cleaned, painted, washed, EVERYTHING in their house had to be removed.  Its three weeks since this happened and they are still not fully recovered.

This event confirms for me that Colin is very independent and capable in many respects, but the fact that he called me rather than 911 directly; worries me.  I believe that if I had not been available, he would have taken some action and gotten himself out of the house and finally asked for help, but precious minutes would have gone by without action from him.

Hopefully there is never a "next time", but if there is, perhaps Colin will do the right thing even if he is in his pyjamas!!!

S U R R E N D E R

Today in the middle of the day - when I had an uneventful day - very quiet and I even had a nap kind of day - I broke down in tears and suddenly realized that I wanted someone to take care of me. I realized that I am tired.

Its been a 3-month run of medical appointments, doctor's appointments, telephone conversations, appointments with home care, late night calls with home care. Not to mention filling out the necessary paper work. More runs to the hospital with Colin because of a wound on his forehead which won't stop bleeding. He is on blood thinners so this is not uncommon. His out-of-control diabetes produces skin issues. Then having him freakout in the middle of the hospital “Rainman” style because he was suddenly afraid that they might admit him again.

Late night negotiations with Home Care (the visiting LPN's) to knock on the door one more time please. Colin has a habit of falling asleep in front of the TV and sometimes does not respond, or worst - he has “decided” that he does not want to co-operate with that particular LPN - “she's mean Mom”!!!

Booking dental appointments - ensuring that they have the latest list of medications/prescriptions. Special O needs that list also. So does Indefinite Arts. As does C.A.S.S.

Are you tired yet???

At 44 years of age on January 11^th, Colin had a heart attack. We found out during his hospital stay that he in fact has 7 blockages in his heart and it truly is a miracle that he survived. To complicate this; Colin was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 7 years ago. A stent was installed but open heart surgery is not an option because his type 2 diabetes was out of control. We are doing everything we can to ensure that his diabetes settles down.

Are you worried yet???

Dignity for Colin has always been our primary goal. Not monitoring his eating habits and his lifestyle choices may have resulted in the situation that we are in now. But he is fiercely independent. Now his lifestyle is being closely monitored by myself and by his supportive roommates. He is now on insulin once a day, which he can administer himself but he needs to be supervised by home care so that we can ensure that he is in fact taking this medication. This is not going well as his fierce independence rears its ugly head and insists that he knows how to do this!!!

Colin's emotional maturity is at about 12 – 13 years of age - what would you do with your 12-13 year old??? What decisions would you make?? His health and welfare are taking a back seat to his dignity - but should it?? What is most important???

I am tired - I am doing everything in my power to “take care of myself”. To balance this out with my personal interests and needs. But sometimes - it just becomes overwhelming and I just want someone else to do this and I want someone to just take care of me!!! I am making sure that I go for a massage, haircut, a new yoga class, pedicure, naps in the afternoon, coffee and phone calls with my good friends and family. I am NOT eating well, but I will get on with that. I am so grateful for the amazing support I have surrounded myself with.

Because, in fact, I have been doing this for 44 years. I have been Colin's MOM for better than 44 years now. He is a gift; a blessing - I can't say that enough. He has definitely made me grow up and he also keeps me young!!!

The only thing left to do is to Surrender - to the God of my understanding - as long as I do this - I am not alone - I am walking hand in hand with my Higher Power. Just for today God, could you go to the next meeting with Home Care??? Of course You will, You will be right there with me - I simply have to surrender and You will be there.

Thanks for listening.

Colliding Emotions

I wrote this in September 2016; just before we moved Colin to his new home:

Emotions are colliding this morning!!!  I am both very happy and very sad!!!

Colin and I met with Ken and Linda last night  -  they are going to be his new room-mates.  They actually are taking Colin into their home and have set up the basement so that he can live with them in the basement of their home.

Its a beautiful home with a walk out basement and lots of big beautiful windows, it does not even feel like a basement.  The back yard backs onto a park and the river runs through this park.  There are lots of trees and it truly is a beautiful spot.

Ken and Linda's motives are truly in the right place and it really is like a dream come true for our family.  They have really good professional credentials and are perfectly suited to do this kind of work.

So what is the emotion?  -  dagnabit!!!  I should be just fine with all of this right??  

It's really about another grief in my life.  Colin's life as he knows it will be changing dramatically.  He will be losing some of his independence.  He will need to learn to live with others as he has been on his own for over 20 years.

The reason for the decision to move him is because Colin is a diabetic.  For the most part, ever since he was diagnosed about seven years ago; Colin has managed his meds  -  but for some reason over the last couple of years he has been very undisciplined in this regard.  (That is a polite way to say that he has been irresponsible).  This is a tragedy because now his blood work indicates big problems. He needs help to manage his meds.

It means he has to change his way of life.  Now that he has seen his new home and met his "room-mates" he is quite happy and excited about this new adventure in life.

I need to be open, flexible and accepting and embrace this new change in our lives.