So Colin finally agreed to go have an ultra-sound and an x-ray at 8:00 am today. He agreed to meet me at the clinic. He was there right on time. Colin is NEVER late. He is actually pretty obsessive about this..... that's another story for another blog ::))
The Doctor had ordered these back in October at Colin's annual checkup; we are nearing the end of January. This is way overdue.
Colin and I have this see - saw relationship going on with things like this. He likes to assert his independence, this was one of those times. "Stop treating me like a kid, Mom" He says. I roll my eyes and step back. I have to allow him his dignity and respect his wishes. When it comes to medical issues.... that is a huge step back for me. By the second week in January, I simply started to threaten as only a mom can. I promised to intervene and make this happen if he did not work with his worker and book these appointments. He continued to avoid getting this done, so true to my promise I intervened. I emailed his worker and pleaded with her to get this done. I might have even threatened, just a little!!!
Finally the appointment was made and I needed to take him to this appointment. None of the support workers were available to take him. Colin and I got in right away and I was going to let him go on his own. He insisted that I come with him. Finally I understood the issue. Colin had never had an ultra-sound before. He was worried about this "procedure" but he did not know how to articulate this. So I got to join him and sit on the chair in the room while the technician did the ultra-sound on his torso. I could see all the images, luckily, I don't know how to read the images, and I understood that it was important not to ask questions of the technician as she can't respond to any questions I might have. I have to say that I found it very interesting but very worrisome. I know not to express any anxieties that I might have. Sometimes I am smart like that. LOL.
I suddenly look at Colin and realized that he was sound asleep. His belly was covered with that gel and the technician was doing her job, occasionally asking him to "take a deep breath and hold it", which he would do and then go right back to sleep. It was everything I could do to stop myself from laughing. It was hilarious, but I did not dare laugh. How many of us would be able to do this??? Total trust and relaxation.
As we were driving away from the appointment, I casually asked him if he had fallen asleep, to which he replied "NO, Mom!!!" Oh really Colin??? And he burst out laughing, knowing full well that I knew. "I was just resting my eyes Mom" and another big laugh.
Then he shared with me that he coughed up some blood this morning. I remained calm (not sure where that calm comes from ::)) and asked him why that would happen?? He said he did not know. And we simply did not talk about this anymore.
I have to treasure every moment, every opportunity to laugh and to love and to accept him. To think that those moments might not always be there is not a thought that I keep in mind. I need to stay in the moment and appreciate the NOW. Which is amazing!! Thank you God for NOW.
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