A RESUME???

Being the mother of a special needs child is a 24/7 job.  This is not a surprise  -  but sometimes I ask "could it be 3 - 4 days a week instead of a 24/7 job"?  Caregiver from afar, but the caregiver never the less.  Colin is fiercely independent and does not live with us, but he is also very needy.  

I had no training for this job (no mother/parent ever has);  I really believe that we learn as we go and we need to learn to trust our intuition and more importantly; ask for help.  It's really important that I forgive myself for being less than perfect.  I also ask other family members and learn from other's experiences.  And most importantly, rely on God for help.

There is a list a mile long  -  Wecare and Home Care; doctors, dentists, foot care, dealing with AISH, always being his advocate.

I have recently been in touch with many other parents, especially moms, many of them much younger than I with special needs kids who are also much younger than Colin (he is 46 now).  It is a rich blessing to be surrounded by such amazing young women.  They really are amazing. 

As many of you know, Colin was brain damaged at birth and also has developed Type 2 diabetes with a heart condition.  I thought by this time that I would be letting go of him more and more, but these medical challenges have drawn me in so that letting go is not an option.

There have been more health challenges in the last year and a half and I am feeling close to burn-out.  I catch myself thinking and saying out loud that I want to resign  -  I am tired of the stress and the demands.   But in sharing and talking with my dear amazing friends (and family), I have come to realize that quitting simply is not an option.  At this point, the choice is to slip into self-pity or ACCEPT with gratitude.  To that end, I have realized that I am at another level of ACCEPTANCE.  This is not going to change.  He is not going to change and I simply choose to learn to delegate and ask for more help wherever possible and continue to do what I can.

Above all, I choose to take care of myself.  Get rest, eat properly, go for my walks; where I pray and meditate.  I share with my amazing friends (talking is part of my processing) and I also take in lots of networking events, where I always meet some more amazing women.  Women who are brave and courageous and who are supportive and encouraging to me.  They INSPIRE me.  I breathe again and smile.  There is a God and He really is there for me and He knows what is up and what the future holds.  I simply choose to keep working on that resume!!!  And have another drink of that ACCEPTANCE and spike it with GRATITUDE.