A TRIP TO THE BARBER

Its Saturday and I usually don't hang out with Colin.  However, there is always a, however, he wanted a haircut.  I don't know about you, but when I want a haircut I usually want it now.  He is a fanatic about getting his hair cut.  What I am trying to say is I allowed him to talk me into taking him for a haircut.

This is not really about the haircut, but about the fact that I got to spend time with him today.  I had several errands and I really did not like the idea of having one more errand.

I met up with him, because "Mom, you don't need to pick me up  -  I will get there on my own".

We met at Tim Horton's (one of his favourite places) and then we drove over to the barbershop.  In the spirit of letting him make some decisions on his own, he picks the barber.  A small courtesy that provides DIGNITY for him.

While we are sitting there waiting; he chatters away about all kinds of things.  There is quite a large waiting area.  He talks loudly when he is excited; animated is the word.   Nothing really important but he is a storyteller and he does not appear to be affected by anyone around him.  You have to understand that he is dressed to the NINES  -  he looks like he is on his way to the Oscars because he is wearing his "tails" as he calls them.  It really is a formal tuxedo and he wears it allll the time.  Yes, he does.  Complete with a white shirt, a beautiful tie, and cufflinks.   Just a little bit of an attention getter.

While we are sitting there waiting and I am listening and acknowledging him and his stories I notice how some people in the waiting area are trying NOT to stare or "judge" but I know they are.  Colin is unaffected by people who might be staring or judging.  I have gotten used to it as well, but it's interesting to watch.

I look over at him and see him suddenly and clearly.  You know when you have a moment when everything stops and you really see someone???  It was one of those moments.  I suddenly see that he is aging, yes my boy is showing signs of health issues, heart attack and diabetes is taking its toll and my heart skips a beat and slows right down  -  I stop hearing what he is saying and I just see the lines on his face, the scars from the wounds on his face from the meds that he is taking.  WOW, I think how could this be?  This does not make me feel angry, worried or upset in any way.  This was truly a spiritual moment of stillness, love, acceptance.  I think maybe a God moment.

He will always be my beautiful boy (well my two other boys are beautiful too, after all, they are my sons).  But his face is the face of innocence.  Divinely created as we all are, but he has the precious face of innocence, lacking in judgment, self-pity, jealousy, victimhood, martyrdom.  These are all traits that almost all of us have.  He is for the most part completely free of these.  I see that in this precious moment.  

And then the barber calls him and life moves on.  But I thought I would share this moment with you because it had a huge impact on me and I don't want to forget it.

Grateful for this and many other moments with my precious son.  And now I am off to answer his 10th call of the day.  Likely just wants to say "goodnight my beautiful mom".

What are you grateful for??