MOVING OUT - MOM I AM LONELY

Our son Colin is fiercely independent - and I am so proud of that fact!!! Colin was brain damaged at birth. Today he is an adult but I often still refer to him as my child... I just can't help it. He functions at about a 12 – 13 year level.... sometimes not even that age. Sometimes more like a 3 – 4 year old when he is not being understood or not getting what he wants.  His reading skills are basic functional and he is the king of the transit system in the City of Calgary  -  he could travel train almost anyone.  A valuable skill for a guy who does not drive.

In the Fall of 1992 when he was 20 years old - we managed to have a new counsellor enter our lives and especially; Colin's life. Phil helped Colin work his way through setting some goals. I know that sounds like a business plan for a serious business executive. Phil was very creative and he and Colin decided that Colin could be living on his own in his own apartment by October, 1993. During the next year  -  we went through a painful process of Colin being ready to go, and Dennis and I were not.  Then Colin decided not to move out, and Dennis and I were ready to see him leave.  Round and round we went.  Finally, Colin actually moved into his new apartment by September 1993 a month ahead of schedule.

Amazing, it still amazes me today.

There was a flurry of activity getting furniture and all the household items that he needed in order to achieve this and of course his Dad and I had a lot to do with that.

It was both very exciting and absolutely terrifying. For all of us. Colin's brothers Sheldon and Derek were, I think relieved in many ways. They were a little younger and trying to have a life and having an “older brother” like Colin around was a bit of a challenge.

We connected with a support service especially designed to help folks like Colin lead a productive, independent life.  Aussie was her name and she became Colin's best friend and mine!!

We finally did get him moved. It was a cute little bachelor pad, perfect for him in an older apartment building just off 17^th Avenue near the downtown area, here in Calgary.  Colin was a happening guy!!

It was within the first week that the calls started coming in - I did not have a cell phone then (thank Goodness). The calls started immediately with “Maaawm, I am so loooonely!” Sheesh, I really was not ready for that. I really did think that he would be fine. Yes, I was naive.  Thank God for my 12-Step program where I learned to “LET GO” and “LET GOD” - my trust in my Higher Power critical in letting Colin work his way through this. I also had some amazing friends and of course, my family was very supportive. It was really painful, but after about a week, yes it was at least a week of having to use the tough love approach; I continued to get calls from him but less about how lonely he was. He gradually got a job, and developed his own little life. His little life taught me so very much. I must say that it really took about a year before we believed that he was going to make it.

Today, if I ever ask him: “Colin, would you like to move in with Mom and Dad?”, the question hardly leaves my mouth and he responds with: “Nope”!!! and he gives me the biggest smile.  God is Good!!!