WHY NOT ME

I often get asked why I decided to have more children after Colin was born.  Colin is our oldest child.   I became pregnant with Sheldon our second son, because we wanted to.  It did not even occur to me  that our second child could be anything less than perfect.

And then I felt the same way about getting pregnant with our third son Derek.  

Some people say that this took a lot of courage.  It never occurred to me for a moment.  I just knew that we wanted more children.  

Possibly, I did not know what I was "signing up" for.

I did not know that I would never have a full night's sleep again.  Colin was always up at 6 - 6:30 am.  And night time routines were like walking on egg shells.  If the door bell rang after his bed-time, he was up for hours afterwards.  If the phone rang after he fell asleep  -  he was also up for hours.  And one would hope that he would sleep in the next morning because now he has had less sleep so he SHOULD be sleeping in.  NOT a chance, but I never gave up trying.  If he had food with sugar or color (jello) or foods with high dosages of preservatives, he was wired and anything could set him off.  Sleep was out of the question.  I walked around sleep deprived for many many years.  Never had trouble losing weight then.  Haha!!!

Did not know that.

It took me a long time to figure out that if we turned on some classical music, that would help to get him to sleep.  I am not sure how I came across that, and truly when you think about it....  it makes perfect sense.  It is relaxing and sacred  -  I still love classical music. 

I did not know that Colin would bite his baby brother so hard, he almost drew blood.  I did not know that.  Colin also pushed his baby brother down the steps while Sheldon was in his walker straight down the basement steps.  Sheldon was winded but clearly survived un-damaged.  I did not know that.

We washed floors on our hands and knees then  (don't worry, I rarely do that now).  But in order to do this job un-interrupted by Colin, I pushed our little china cabinet across the doorway so that I could keep him in the other room while I washed the kitchen floor.  Well, he sure did not like that, so he pushed really hard on that little china cabinet and yes, you're right, he pushed it right over.  I still can hardly believe that he did that.  Lost a lot of my wedding presents that day.  I was a yeller and screamer then, so you can imagine the yelling and screaming that went on that day.  He spent a lot of time in his crib after that little event.

I did not know that.

It was easy potty training Sheldon and Derek, but the potty training went on and on with Colin long after my two other boys were potty trained.

There were many times when I cried why me???  Why me??  What did I do to deserve this??  I thought I was being punished.  The self-pity was overwhelming at times.  I did not know that I was given a gift.  Colin is a gift and so are my two other precious boys.  I would not have had it any other way.  In fact, I give thanks everyday for my children.  When I become grateful the self-pity washes away.  This was and is God's precious plan.

I did not know that.

The courage was not in deciding to have other children.  The courage was and is in living my life to the fullest and to say why not me???  Blessings are mine to celebrate and embrace.  I have been richly blessed.  Why not me???